Happy Pride, Mga Bading. Yes, I’m Gay.

This isn’t exactly a coming out post. It’s more of a reminder to myself and maybe to others that being loud and proud is still something I owe myself.

I’ve never really had a dramatic coming out story. I didn’t sit anyone down to say the words. Somehow, the people around me already knew. Maybe it was how I moved, how I acted, or maybe because I had a gay sister. I didn’t have to spell it out. And for that, I’m grateful.

But just because I didn’t have to come out doesn't mean I was free. I still had to hide parts of myself, especially at home. I grew up in a house full of boys, three older brothers, all straight, and a very strict father. That already tells you enough. I was abused by my brothers too. I don’t talk about that part often, but it’s real, and it shaped me.

Even as a kid, I knew I was gay. I dreamed of being a fashion designer so I could dress up pretty women. That dream lived in my head because I couldn’t bring it out into the world, not back then.

In high school, I had these butterfly charms on my ID sling. I loved them. But before going home, I’d always tuck them into my bag so my dad wouldn’t see. One day, I forgot. I walked out of school with the butterflies still hanging, and my dad saw me. I got scolded. It was a small thing, but to me, it felt like being punished for just being myself.

So no, I wasn’t completely closeted. But I had to be careful. I had to hide just enough to get by.

Being gay meant I always had to prove something. I had to be smart, do well in school, be better than what people expected. I couldn’t afford to be mediocre.

Even in college, I had to hustle hard. I worked. I took on a lot. I did whatever I had to do to make things work.

It was only when I moved to Davao that I felt like I could finally breathe. I didn’t have to say I was gay, people already knew. But for the first time, I didn’t feel the need to hide anymore.

This Pride, I just want to say it plainly, yes, bayot ako. I’ve always been. And this time, I’m saying it not just because people already know, but because I’m proud.

I owe it to myself to live fully, without shrinking or hiding any part of who I am. I owe it to the younger me who had to keep quiet, stay careful, and work twice as hard just to feel safe. And now that I’ve made it here, I choose to be loud, not because I have to, but because I finally can.